This weekend whilst hiking in the Carson-Iceberg Wilderness I was literally attacked by mosquitoes. Not the whole time, just one part of the hike, during the morning they were coming at me like World War II fighter planes, gunning every bare inch of skin.
I panicked.
I reached into my day pack and grabbed my DEET without stopping. Stopping was death at this point, they would have sucked me dry in 10 seconds flat. So I’m fumbling around in my pack, trying to keep moving and slapping myself silly trying to ward off the viscous little bitches. At last my hand found the little bottle so I started to lather myself in protection.
Legs first as they are the hardest to slap with a backpack on. Squirt, squirt, left leg then right with only occasional slaps to kill currently biting mosquitoes. Arms next, spraying the noxious stuff directly on some of the bugs.
My face is next, I stop running, screw my eyes shut and position the bottle in for a full facial. I push. Nothing comes out. What?!? I’m out of repellent and my face and neck are still untouched?!? I stare dumfounded at the empty bottle, mocking me, inches from my face. I hear the mosquitoes homing in on the last bit of unfouled flesh, ready to feast on my tender ears, neck, and face. I start squeezing the bottle in earnest, pushing it over and over.
Suddenly, a single push on the little bottle has resistance and in one long, slow arc, the last teaspoon of the horrible goop spews out from the nozzle, directly into and onto my mouth.
I wonder how long the taste of insect repellent will last on the nozzle of my Camelback?
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